After two days of everybody I ran into telling me how much they loved Inglorious Basterds I finally made it to the theatre on Sunday night. I settled in to watch what I was assuming would basically be a reimagining of Kill Bill set in WWII Europe (Kill Adolf?). What I saw was basically a dramatic stageplay. A series of really long dialogue scenes where most of the characters sit in chairs and don't really move or do anything. The dialogue is pretty good, for the most part, but damn is there a lot of it.
One would think that the title characters would carry the action. They don't. The Basterds are actually only in about a third of the two and a half hour movie, and (PARTIAL SPOILER ALERT) they really don't play much of a role in how the final sequence plays out. (For those that have seen the flick, I think we can agree that everyone they killed was going to die anyway.)
Tarantino, as always, gets incredibly strong performances from his entire cast. While Brad Pitt steals every scene that he is in, that's kind of expected because, well, he's Brad Pitt. All of the Foreign actors in the film played their characters extremely well, and Christoph Waltz is phenomenal as the villain, Colonel Hans Landa, aka "The Jewhunter."
That said, I'm not sure what QT was thinking with this movie. While the scenes featuring Pitt and The Basterds are lousy with Tarantino's fingerprints, the rest of the film is sort of an odd tribute to early twentieth century European cinema. My suspicion? I'm guessing he wrote Inglorious Basterds, realized that it could've been titled Kill Adolf, and then added an entire new storyline to run alongside his slaughter/revenge plot so people didn't think he'd fallen into a rut. This other story, because it's so complex, ultimately dominates the screentime in the final cut. Pitt and The Basterds are limited to only a couple of really good scenes, and you've pretty much seen them both in the previews and advertisements.
The movie isn't bad, but it wasn't what was advertised. Had I gone into it without seeing all of the commercials and trailers, I'd probably have liked it a lot, actually. But, since I had seen all the best parts of the movie before paying my nine bucks: I give it a 2.5 out of 4.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A Brief History of the Man Who Won't Go Away
I first started to really follow sports in 1988 while living in the small town of Pacific Grove, CA which happens to be just short of 2 hours south of San Francisco. The Raiders were still in their self-imposed exile in Los Angeles so I became a fan of the Niners. These were not tough times to get on the bandwagon. They had two future Hall of Famers at QB. The team had won two Super Bowls earlier on in the decade and were perennially in contention for the playoffs. The team then proceeded to win the title later that year and again the next...then again in 1994. Then came the Green Bay Packers and a troublesome QB by the name of Brett Favre. Three straight years the Pack eliminated my team in the playoffs. I grew to despise Favre. I didn't care that he played the game with the enthusiasm of a school boy. I especially hated the "hop". You know...the fake throw that he sells by jumping up after handing the ball off that usually goes for at least 10 yards. I even hated the way his last name was pronounced and embarrassed myself in a crowded theatre by laughing hysterically at that scene in "There's Something About Mary" that every Niner fan knows by heart. Then came the 1998 season. We got the monkey off our back by beating the Pack in the playoffs on the last play of the game when Young hit an inexperienced receiver over the middle in the endzone who had 4 previous drops by the name of Terrell Owens. I'll never forget that play. I was able to no longer hate the Packers. I grew to enjoy watching Favre thread the football through two defenders and smile instead of scream.
Flash forward to the end of the 2007 NFL season.
Favre had led the Packers into the NFC Championship Game. He had a phenomenal game considering the sub-zero temperatures (including a club record 90 yard TD to Donald Driver) but threw an ill-advised pass in OT that was intercepted and set up the game winning FG by the Giants. In the ensuing off-season, Favre announced his retirement. Then he asked for his outright release, which the Packers rightfully declined saying he could compete in camp with his chosen successor Aaron Rodgers. He then claimed that we wasn't "fully committed" to the retirement and was "forced" into it by the Packers organization so that they could move forward. A few months later, after meeting with Packers head coach Mike McCarthy who realized that bringing him back would be detrimental to team morale, he was finally release and he signed with the NY Jets.
Flash forward to the off-season between the '08 and '09 NFL season.
After not re-signing with the Jets, Favre said he was retired. For good. The Vikings tried to say otherwise. They offered him a spot in camp, but he declined. He affirmed that he was staying retired and also mentioned that he required surgery on his throwing arm. Vikings head coach Brad Childress addressed the situation by saying that if indeed Favre wanted to come back, he would have to say so by the beginning of training camp. That deadline came and went with no sign of Favre outside of Mississippi. Then came August 18th. Almost a month after training camp had started, Favre signed with the Vikings.
This frustrates me to no end. Favre has not only denigrated his legacy but he has also started to insult his greatest fans, those of the Packers. He was quoted as saying that true Packers fans would understand him signing with a division rival because of his desire to play. Desire? If he so wants to play, why retire? The easy answer is that athletes love to compete and hate not being able to when they reach a certain age. Another thought is that he just doesn't like camp. News flash - most players don't. It's miserably hot and the two-a-days are brutal. My thoughts are that he just doesn't want to leave the game after disastrous endings (the INT in the playoffs and only 2 TD's vs 5 INT's in the last 5 games of last season). I think he will continue this charade until he can walk off into the sunset with a Lombardi trophy in hand.
Flash forward to the end of the 2007 NFL season.
Favre had led the Packers into the NFC Championship Game. He had a phenomenal game considering the sub-zero temperatures (including a club record 90 yard TD to Donald Driver) but threw an ill-advised pass in OT that was intercepted and set up the game winning FG by the Giants. In the ensuing off-season, Favre announced his retirement. Then he asked for his outright release, which the Packers rightfully declined saying he could compete in camp with his chosen successor Aaron Rodgers. He then claimed that we wasn't "fully committed" to the retirement and was "forced" into it by the Packers organization so that they could move forward. A few months later, after meeting with Packers head coach Mike McCarthy who realized that bringing him back would be detrimental to team morale, he was finally release and he signed with the NY Jets.
Flash forward to the off-season between the '08 and '09 NFL season.
After not re-signing with the Jets, Favre said he was retired. For good. The Vikings tried to say otherwise. They offered him a spot in camp, but he declined. He affirmed that he was staying retired and also mentioned that he required surgery on his throwing arm. Vikings head coach Brad Childress addressed the situation by saying that if indeed Favre wanted to come back, he would have to say so by the beginning of training camp. That deadline came and went with no sign of Favre outside of Mississippi. Then came August 18th. Almost a month after training camp had started, Favre signed with the Vikings.
This frustrates me to no end. Favre has not only denigrated his legacy but he has also started to insult his greatest fans, those of the Packers. He was quoted as saying that true Packers fans would understand him signing with a division rival because of his desire to play. Desire? If he so wants to play, why retire? The easy answer is that athletes love to compete and hate not being able to when they reach a certain age. Another thought is that he just doesn't like camp. News flash - most players don't. It's miserably hot and the two-a-days are brutal. My thoughts are that he just doesn't want to leave the game after disastrous endings (the INT in the playoffs and only 2 TD's vs 5 INT's in the last 5 games of last season). I think he will continue this charade until he can walk off into the sunset with a Lombardi trophy in hand.
60 Minutes in the life of Mike Vick
I sat down last night and watched the extended 60 Minutes interview with Michael Vick. I was curious to see how he would come across. Would he seem sincere? Would it be scripted, image fluffing nonsense writing by the Mike Vick PR department? Does he know the severity of the crimes he committed or is he just sorry he got caught? These are the answers I needed.
My curiosity comes from a very strange and rather selfish place... I want to forgive Michael Vick. I want to believe prison has changed him into a man that I don't necessarily want to route for (although that would be a different story if his green number 7 jersey was being warn in New York and not Philly) but a player I can watch with intrigue and without guilt. As the whole country, football fans and non football fans, choose sides I sit on the fence.
Why you ask?
December 1, 2002. I'm doing the Direct Ticket shuffle as the afternoon games are coming to an end looking for just a few more minutes of football. As I flip pass the Falcons/Vikings game I am pleased to see the fourth quarter ending and the score tied. I steal another beer from my Dad's fridge and settle in for another fifteen minutes of NFL. Or so I thought. Less then three minutes into overtime the Falcons have the ball just across mid-field. Mike Vick takes the snap and as the pocket collapses he rolls out to the left. He takes off down the middle of the field. He doesn't tuck the ball until he crosses the twenty-five, just as two Vikings close in on him. Vick cuts between the two defenders and even though you would not think it possible, speeds up. The two Minnesota players crash into each other like it was a scene out of a bad movie. Vick out ran at least eight players who had a shot at him to end the game on a 46 yard touchdown. It was the greatest play I've ever seen.
Michael Vick is my favorite football player to watch that has never worn a Jets jersey. Every time the man rolls out of the pocket every person watching the game holds their breathe for just a second, wondering if this is gonna be one of those plays you'll be telling your kid's kids about. This is why I want to be okay with Vick being in the NFL. I want to watch every game he plays in this season, I want to see him do something that's never been done before.
Cue the ticking clock...
The 60 Minutes interview is conducted by CBS's NFL Today host James Brown. It starts with Vick talking about a moment of clarity when the cell door slam behind him... about what monumental mistakes he made. I'm unconvinced. What person wouldn't feel that? I need more.
J.B. hits him with some direct questions. Questions about drowning and electrocuting dogs. Vick says he feels disgusted by his actions. Says he should have stop the dog fighting ring when he had the chance, should have not been doing things he knew was illegal, should have been man enough to stand up to those around him. I'm still unconvinced. That's the only thing he could say.
Vick goes on to say he deserved to lose his 130 million dollar contract. Says someone doing the things he was doing deserved to lose it all. He seems sincere. He continues to speak about how he was first around dog fighting when he was an 8-year old kid in Virginia, how cops would stop by and not break up the fights. All the older kids he looked up to were into it so he was into it too. Doesn't really seem like he's using it as a cop-out, seems like that's really just how he got into it. Fair enough. I don't buy the social class thing with dog fighting. It's messed up and cruel and people know right from wrong. That being said, upbringing is used to justify cruel behavior in a number of other ways in our society, so if that's how he got into it then that's how he got into it.
Brown asks him about lying. Lying to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Falcons owner Arthur Blank, and the rest of us. Vick says he knew he was guilty. He knew he was caught. He was trying to "salvage everything" and now knows he should have told the truth two years ago.
He's now speaking with kids in neighborhoods like the one he grew up in, telling them his story and along with the Humane Society trying to get the message out there that he himself never heard growing up. I'm sure it's court ordered, but it's a good thing none the less.
Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom for people to look at the life they were living and how wrong it was. I've known a few people myself who have hit rock bottom. Some of those people have changed and are now living good lives. Some of those people have found a way to sink deeper. Better believe I wish they all had found a way to recover, because it was not just their loss, it was mine as well. I think two years in the joint caused Mike Vick to bottom out. I also think no good can come out of further punishing this man. If we shun him and get him out of the public eye it's not gonna help anyone, and no dogs will be saved in the process. Let him stay in the spotlight, live with what he did. Let others learn from his mistakes.
I think I'm okay with him getting a second chance.
My curiosity comes from a very strange and rather selfish place... I want to forgive Michael Vick. I want to believe prison has changed him into a man that I don't necessarily want to route for (although that would be a different story if his green number 7 jersey was being warn in New York and not Philly) but a player I can watch with intrigue and without guilt. As the whole country, football fans and non football fans, choose sides I sit on the fence.
Why you ask?
December 1, 2002. I'm doing the Direct Ticket shuffle as the afternoon games are coming to an end looking for just a few more minutes of football. As I flip pass the Falcons/Vikings game I am pleased to see the fourth quarter ending and the score tied. I steal another beer from my Dad's fridge and settle in for another fifteen minutes of NFL. Or so I thought. Less then three minutes into overtime the Falcons have the ball just across mid-field. Mike Vick takes the snap and as the pocket collapses he rolls out to the left. He takes off down the middle of the field. He doesn't tuck the ball until he crosses the twenty-five, just as two Vikings close in on him. Vick cuts between the two defenders and even though you would not think it possible, speeds up. The two Minnesota players crash into each other like it was a scene out of a bad movie. Vick out ran at least eight players who had a shot at him to end the game on a 46 yard touchdown. It was the greatest play I've ever seen.
Michael Vick is my favorite football player to watch that has never worn a Jets jersey. Every time the man rolls out of the pocket every person watching the game holds their breathe for just a second, wondering if this is gonna be one of those plays you'll be telling your kid's kids about. This is why I want to be okay with Vick being in the NFL. I want to watch every game he plays in this season, I want to see him do something that's never been done before.
Cue the ticking clock...
The 60 Minutes interview is conducted by CBS's NFL Today host James Brown. It starts with Vick talking about a moment of clarity when the cell door slam behind him... about what monumental mistakes he made. I'm unconvinced. What person wouldn't feel that? I need more.
J.B. hits him with some direct questions. Questions about drowning and electrocuting dogs. Vick says he feels disgusted by his actions. Says he should have stop the dog fighting ring when he had the chance, should have not been doing things he knew was illegal, should have been man enough to stand up to those around him. I'm still unconvinced. That's the only thing he could say.
Vick goes on to say he deserved to lose his 130 million dollar contract. Says someone doing the things he was doing deserved to lose it all. He seems sincere. He continues to speak about how he was first around dog fighting when he was an 8-year old kid in Virginia, how cops would stop by and not break up the fights. All the older kids he looked up to were into it so he was into it too. Doesn't really seem like he's using it as a cop-out, seems like that's really just how he got into it. Fair enough. I don't buy the social class thing with dog fighting. It's messed up and cruel and people know right from wrong. That being said, upbringing is used to justify cruel behavior in a number of other ways in our society, so if that's how he got into it then that's how he got into it.
Brown asks him about lying. Lying to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Falcons owner Arthur Blank, and the rest of us. Vick says he knew he was guilty. He knew he was caught. He was trying to "salvage everything" and now knows he should have told the truth two years ago.
He's now speaking with kids in neighborhoods like the one he grew up in, telling them his story and along with the Humane Society trying to get the message out there that he himself never heard growing up. I'm sure it's court ordered, but it's a good thing none the less.
Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom for people to look at the life they were living and how wrong it was. I've known a few people myself who have hit rock bottom. Some of those people have changed and are now living good lives. Some of those people have found a way to sink deeper. Better believe I wish they all had found a way to recover, because it was not just their loss, it was mine as well. I think two years in the joint caused Mike Vick to bottom out. I also think no good can come out of further punishing this man. If we shun him and get him out of the public eye it's not gonna help anyone, and no dogs will be saved in the process. Let him stay in the spotlight, live with what he did. Let others learn from his mistakes.
I think I'm okay with him getting a second chance.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Michael Vick vs. The Self-Righteous. Round 1. Fight!
Even those of you who don't follow sports know who Michael Vick is. Just three years ago, however, you probably didn't. He was the flashy quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons, with the jaw-dropping speed and the heaviest wallet in the NFL. However, less than eighteen months removed from becoming the 120-million-dollar man, allegations began to surface that local authorities were investigating him in relation to some illegal dogfighting activity in the Virginia area where he'd grown up. Over the two or three months that followed it came to light that Vick was basically the kingpin and financier of an inter-state dogfighting ring that spanned the south-Atlantic region of our country. The details were shocking. Stacks of money being wagered, and under performing dogs suffered punishments that included electrocution, drowning, and hanging. Through an expedited legal process Vick pled guilty in a federal court to a dog-fighting charge, narrowly avoiding a perjury conviction as well, and was sentenced to nineteen months in federal prison.
Released last spring to finish his sentence under house arrest, talk immediately sprung up of Vick's employment options this NFL season. The largest hurdle would be the potential suspension levied by league commissioner Roger Goodell. That sentence was handed down two weeks ago, when Goodell put Vick on a probationary suspension that would allow him to sign with a team and practice, but not play in a regular season game pending further judgement two months from now.
Many teams immediately released statements of disinterest in the ex-QB, while some teams left it open through non-denials of interest. Rumors swirled, and yesterday it was revealed that Michael Vick had reached a one year agreement with the Philadelphia Eagles.
This is a hot-button topic that is going to bring forward a lot of opinions, and most of them are going to be perfectly valid.
Most NFL players seem to feel sorry for Vick, and seem to be happy that he's back in the league. I can understand that. Three years ago he was on top of the world, and due to his own decisions, he has had everything taken from him. Houses. Cars. He has been reduced to just another guy who needs a job. If he can land one that pays a million bucks, more power to him.
Most of the Philadelphia fans, and many other NFL fans, are outraged, and want him banned from the league. I can understand that too. He did some terrible things, and it wasn't like it was a lapse in judgement. He did terrible things for a long period of time and only stopped when he got caught. However, I think it's easy to be a Vick hater right now. Right now he has no value, so why side with him? I don't think you'll be hearing too many boos when he's scoring touchdowns for the Eagles in December. People like to do what's popular, and right now pretending to be better than Mike Vick is popular.
The Eagles are taking a huge PR risk. But, they're the Philadelphia Eagles, and their fan base will not desert them. Will Vick make a difference? Yeah, he most definitely will. The Eagles went all the way to the conference championship last year, and have most of their key players back along with some new talent. The Eagles were going to the playoffs this year anyway, so what they needed was someone who could make a difference at the highest level. Vick can do that. Give him five or six chances to make plays in the game, he'll make one or two. That's all he needs to do to make the Eagles the class of the league this year.
My thoughts? I don't care. If he gets on the field this year, I'll watch. If he hangs himself in his shower tonight, that's fine too. None of this makes any difference in my life. It doesn't make any difference in anyone else's life either. People are hating on him right now because everybody likes to feel superior. The guy is an idiot. Do I think he's sorry? No. I really don't. Today in his presser he called dogfighting "pointless" and said he regretted putting his career at risk. If he was sorry, he should know that dogfighting isn't pointless, it's disgusting. The point is to gain money and entertainment from the suffering of innocent animals. He should feel ashamed for what he did to those dogs, not for putting his NFL contract at risk. That doesn't matter though. He paid his debt, so as long as he isn't fighting dogs now, he can make a living however he'd like.
I guess in summary my point is this: If you want to jump on the anti-Vick bandwagon, please come up with a better argument than "What if it was your dog?," and if this is the position you're taking, please don't let me catch you talking Eagles or NFL this year. If you want to take a stance, take a stance. Boycott. Don't just rip the guy for the sake of being able to feel like you're better than him.
Released last spring to finish his sentence under house arrest, talk immediately sprung up of Vick's employment options this NFL season. The largest hurdle would be the potential suspension levied by league commissioner Roger Goodell. That sentence was handed down two weeks ago, when Goodell put Vick on a probationary suspension that would allow him to sign with a team and practice, but not play in a regular season game pending further judgement two months from now.
Many teams immediately released statements of disinterest in the ex-QB, while some teams left it open through non-denials of interest. Rumors swirled, and yesterday it was revealed that Michael Vick had reached a one year agreement with the Philadelphia Eagles.
This is a hot-button topic that is going to bring forward a lot of opinions, and most of them are going to be perfectly valid.
Most NFL players seem to feel sorry for Vick, and seem to be happy that he's back in the league. I can understand that. Three years ago he was on top of the world, and due to his own decisions, he has had everything taken from him. Houses. Cars. He has been reduced to just another guy who needs a job. If he can land one that pays a million bucks, more power to him.
Most of the Philadelphia fans, and many other NFL fans, are outraged, and want him banned from the league. I can understand that too. He did some terrible things, and it wasn't like it was a lapse in judgement. He did terrible things for a long period of time and only stopped when he got caught. However, I think it's easy to be a Vick hater right now. Right now he has no value, so why side with him? I don't think you'll be hearing too many boos when he's scoring touchdowns for the Eagles in December. People like to do what's popular, and right now pretending to be better than Mike Vick is popular.
The Eagles are taking a huge PR risk. But, they're the Philadelphia Eagles, and their fan base will not desert them. Will Vick make a difference? Yeah, he most definitely will. The Eagles went all the way to the conference championship last year, and have most of their key players back along with some new talent. The Eagles were going to the playoffs this year anyway, so what they needed was someone who could make a difference at the highest level. Vick can do that. Give him five or six chances to make plays in the game, he'll make one or two. That's all he needs to do to make the Eagles the class of the league this year.
My thoughts? I don't care. If he gets on the field this year, I'll watch. If he hangs himself in his shower tonight, that's fine too. None of this makes any difference in my life. It doesn't make any difference in anyone else's life either. People are hating on him right now because everybody likes to feel superior. The guy is an idiot. Do I think he's sorry? No. I really don't. Today in his presser he called dogfighting "pointless" and said he regretted putting his career at risk. If he was sorry, he should know that dogfighting isn't pointless, it's disgusting. The point is to gain money and entertainment from the suffering of innocent animals. He should feel ashamed for what he did to those dogs, not for putting his NFL contract at risk. That doesn't matter though. He paid his debt, so as long as he isn't fighting dogs now, he can make a living however he'd like.
I guess in summary my point is this: If you want to jump on the anti-Vick bandwagon, please come up with a better argument than "What if it was your dog?," and if this is the position you're taking, please don't let me catch you talking Eagles or NFL this year. If you want to take a stance, take a stance. Boycott. Don't just rip the guy for the sake of being able to feel like you're better than him.
Review: GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra
It only took me a week. Did my best to avoid any spoilers. Enjoy:
I'll be honest, it was rough right from the beginning. GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra enters into the action with a US Army caravan that is transporting some high tech weaponry under the cover of night, and is armed to the teeth, fully expecting that someone will be trying to stop them. In the lead vehicle, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Rip Cord (Marlon Wayans) converse in what I'm sure was supposed to be witty banter. Wayans is a comedian and a pretty good actor, so he of course holds his own. The problem with the scene is that Channing Tatum can't act his way out of a wet paper bag. He sits statue still, stares at Wayans, and races through lines like a nervous five-year-old in a kindergarten play, all the while trying to hold down his wangster accent like he was taught to speak by Vanilla Ice himself. It's brutal to sit through. It wouldn't be as bad if it weren't right at the beginning of the movie. By the end of the flick I had accepted Tatum as Duke, and found that he didn't bother me nearly as much. It was, however, a tough way to begin a movie that I was hoping for a lot from.
I was very pleased to discover, though, that this scene was the low point of the movie.
All of the other actors were servicable, which is really all you can ask from an action flick. Channing Tatum is very good in the action scenes, and a pretty handsome fella to boot (plus, in the movie he has a scar on his right cheek bone just like mine, so guess what I'm being for Halloween?), so as long as he's not talking it's not so bad. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Christopher Eccleston are definitely the best actors in the film and make great villains.
If you really get into the ins and outs of the plot there are a few holes, but ultimately it's vintage GI Joe. Director Stephen Sommers does a phenomenal job of giving the audience just enough backstory to make the primary narrative a little more meaningful, but avoids going over the top. The trend in today's action movies is to make them two-and-a-half hours long by adding way too much sappy backstory that no one really cares about. This flick clocks in at just under two hours, and flies by in what seems like half of that.
It's important to note going in, that in order to enjoy this you're going to have to suspend some of your disbelief. The story and action are a little over the top. A lot of the CGI is sort of stylistically cartoony to emphasize the alternate reality of it all. If you watch as the disillusioned adult that we all are, you most likely are not going to have that much fun. But, if you can remember why you liked GI Joe in the first place (Cool vehicles, huge underground bases, jet packs, karate), then you can't NOT have a good time watching this movie.
I give it a 3 out of 4, and really hope they make a sequel.
I'll be honest, it was rough right from the beginning. GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra enters into the action with a US Army caravan that is transporting some high tech weaponry under the cover of night, and is armed to the teeth, fully expecting that someone will be trying to stop them. In the lead vehicle, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Rip Cord (Marlon Wayans) converse in what I'm sure was supposed to be witty banter. Wayans is a comedian and a pretty good actor, so he of course holds his own. The problem with the scene is that Channing Tatum can't act his way out of a wet paper bag. He sits statue still, stares at Wayans, and races through lines like a nervous five-year-old in a kindergarten play, all the while trying to hold down his wangster accent like he was taught to speak by Vanilla Ice himself. It's brutal to sit through. It wouldn't be as bad if it weren't right at the beginning of the movie. By the end of the flick I had accepted Tatum as Duke, and found that he didn't bother me nearly as much. It was, however, a tough way to begin a movie that I was hoping for a lot from.
I was very pleased to discover, though, that this scene was the low point of the movie.
All of the other actors were servicable, which is really all you can ask from an action flick. Channing Tatum is very good in the action scenes, and a pretty handsome fella to boot (plus, in the movie he has a scar on his right cheek bone just like mine, so guess what I'm being for Halloween?), so as long as he's not talking it's not so bad. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Christopher Eccleston are definitely the best actors in the film and make great villains.
If you really get into the ins and outs of the plot there are a few holes, but ultimately it's vintage GI Joe. Director Stephen Sommers does a phenomenal job of giving the audience just enough backstory to make the primary narrative a little more meaningful, but avoids going over the top. The trend in today's action movies is to make them two-and-a-half hours long by adding way too much sappy backstory that no one really cares about. This flick clocks in at just under two hours, and flies by in what seems like half of that.
It's important to note going in, that in order to enjoy this you're going to have to suspend some of your disbelief. The story and action are a little over the top. A lot of the CGI is sort of stylistically cartoony to emphasize the alternate reality of it all. If you watch as the disillusioned adult that we all are, you most likely are not going to have that much fun. But, if you can remember why you liked GI Joe in the first place (Cool vehicles, huge underground bases, jet packs, karate), then you can't NOT have a good time watching this movie.
I give it a 3 out of 4, and really hope they make a sequel.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Living up to the hype...
I'm an optimist. I go into ninety-five percent of situations expecting the best possible outcome. I walked into Wolverine and Transformers 2 expecting them to be The Godfather, I think the New York Jets are going to win the Super Bowl every year and I believe with all my heart that Clint Dempsey will lead the US National Team to a World Cup final next summer. That being said I thought UFC 100 was way over-hyped and could never live up to the grandeur. I had been hearing for a year and a half what a great card UFC President Dana White was gonna put together for the centennial and after let downs in UFC 97 and 99 even I had started to have my doubts. I don't drink the Georges St. Pierre-flavored Gatorade and didn't devote my life to the USA vs. UK Ultimate Fighter so I didn't have the vested interest in Dan Henderson vs. Micheal Bisping that some hardcores did. I knew Lesnar vs. Mir would be a show, but couldn't help but feel I was gonna devote three hours of my life to watch six good minutes of fights. Let's just say I was pleasantly surprised. Despite GSP doing everything to ruin it, UFC 100 lived up to the hype.
On the heels of the biggest Mixed Martial Arts event of all time comes UFC 101: Declaration. 101 has some big shoes to fill, but The Optimist has returned and I have faith in this card.
Amir Sadollah is taking on baby eater Johny Hendricks in his first fight since winning The Ultimate Fighter 7. Sadollah hasn't fought since the UF7 finale in June of last year. He's had his last two fights canceled due to injuries so it'll be interesting to see how he does with such a long lay off. Sadollah is a character and will be extremely marketable for the UFC if he can string together a few victories. He was the underdog in just about everyone of his fights on The Ultimate Fighter and in every fight some how came out on top. Amir is one of those guys who seems to always be bleeding and getting rocked yet pulls out a submission to end the fight. And he's Nick Cannon funny in interviews. Hendricks was Undefeated in the WEC so this should be a good fight.
In the main event BJ Penn is defending his Lightweight belt against Kenny Florian. Florian has been on a tear to become the number one contender. He hasn't lost a fight since 2006 and is a big fan of the rear naked choke, which is something I can get behind. That being said, BJ is a freak of nature, and hasn't lost at 155 lbs. since 2002. His last fight was a 170 lbs. match against St. Pierre in which Penn appeared to not have a chance. It was also the famous GSP Vaseline fight. I think Penn should take care of business at 155 against KenFlo, but it has the chance to be an epic fight.
Ok now, this next one is the one I think we should all be looking forward to. Boring ass Anderson "The Spider" Silva goes from 185 to 205 to fight UFC poster boy Forrest Griffin. Silva is 1-0 at 205 and favored against the former Lightweight Champion. Griffin lost the title in his last fight to Rashaad Evans when Evans speed and power was too much for Griffin. Silva's last fight against Thales Leites was arguably the worst fight in the history of the UFC. The outmatched Leites literally laid on the ground for the final two rounds as fans booed and a bored Silva danced around refusing to finish Leites off. A pissed off Dana White decided that Silva had to be put to the test, and while the Silva vs. GSP fight didn't come to be Griffin should be able to hold his own against Silva. Griffin never really shocks me... loses when he should win, wins when he should lose, but he usually shows up. Silva hasn't really lost a fight since 2004 (he was DQ'd in 2006), and is currently on a record nine match winning streak in the the UFC. Who among you doesn't like to see the mighty fall? The Optimist is drinking the Forrest-flavored Gatorade, and you should too. Lets just hope The Spider remembers how to tap...
I'll leave you with a video of the last time Anderson Silva did tap. December 31, 2004 against Ryo Chonan. Chonan is getting his ass kicked and then ends the fight with the greatest move I've ever seen. Enjoy.
On the heels of the biggest Mixed Martial Arts event of all time comes UFC 101: Declaration. 101 has some big shoes to fill, but The Optimist has returned and I have faith in this card.
Amir Sadollah is taking on baby eater Johny Hendricks in his first fight since winning The Ultimate Fighter 7. Sadollah hasn't fought since the UF7 finale in June of last year. He's had his last two fights canceled due to injuries so it'll be interesting to see how he does with such a long lay off. Sadollah is a character and will be extremely marketable for the UFC if he can string together a few victories. He was the underdog in just about everyone of his fights on The Ultimate Fighter and in every fight some how came out on top. Amir is one of those guys who seems to always be bleeding and getting rocked yet pulls out a submission to end the fight. And he's Nick Cannon funny in interviews. Hendricks was Undefeated in the WEC so this should be a good fight.
In the main event BJ Penn is defending his Lightweight belt against Kenny Florian. Florian has been on a tear to become the number one contender. He hasn't lost a fight since 2006 and is a big fan of the rear naked choke, which is something I can get behind. That being said, BJ is a freak of nature, and hasn't lost at 155 lbs. since 2002. His last fight was a 170 lbs. match against St. Pierre in which Penn appeared to not have a chance. It was also the famous GSP Vaseline fight. I think Penn should take care of business at 155 against KenFlo, but it has the chance to be an epic fight.
Ok now, this next one is the one I think we should all be looking forward to. Boring ass Anderson "The Spider" Silva goes from 185 to 205 to fight UFC poster boy Forrest Griffin. Silva is 1-0 at 205 and favored against the former Lightweight Champion. Griffin lost the title in his last fight to Rashaad Evans when Evans speed and power was too much for Griffin. Silva's last fight against Thales Leites was arguably the worst fight in the history of the UFC. The outmatched Leites literally laid on the ground for the final two rounds as fans booed and a bored Silva danced around refusing to finish Leites off. A pissed off Dana White decided that Silva had to be put to the test, and while the Silva vs. GSP fight didn't come to be Griffin should be able to hold his own against Silva. Griffin never really shocks me... loses when he should win, wins when he should lose, but he usually shows up. Silva hasn't really lost a fight since 2004 (he was DQ'd in 2006), and is currently on a record nine match winning streak in the the UFC. Who among you doesn't like to see the mighty fall? The Optimist is drinking the Forrest-flavored Gatorade, and you should too. Lets just hope The Spider remembers how to tap...
I'll leave you with a video of the last time Anderson Silva did tap. December 31, 2004 against Ryo Chonan. Chonan is getting his ass kicked and then ends the fight with the greatest move I've ever seen. Enjoy.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Bud Selig can lick it.
As we drift through the doldrums of mid-summer, with NFL training camps just getting underway, the American sporting public practices its annual ritual of romanticizing the long-gone golden ages of baseball in hopes that some of that magic will rub off on the modern game. Baseball was once America's pastime. The crack of the bat and the smell of hot dogs bound generations and marked the coming and going of each innocent summer.
Baseball has stagnated. A couple of decades of poor decision-making by players, unions, and owners, combined with a few factors beyond its control, have turned the once proud ocean liner of Major League Baseball into a sinking ship.
This is not going to be a rant about the many players who have tainted the historic records of the game by using steroids, nor is it necessary to discuss how the advent of satellite television has made baseball a third-tier option to the much more visual sports of football and basketball. These are obvious problems, and have been discusssed at nauseum.
I want to talk about the problem of parity. The absence of a salary cap, and in effect the absence of a level playing field. While teams from the major markets like New York, Boston, LA, and Chicago freely spend every off-season to keep their teams consistently at the top of the stangdings, other teams that don't have the same revenue streams are forced to sell off all of their young talent in order to just stay afloat. The Pittsburgh Pirates, for example, have not had a winning season since the early nineties. Not for lack of talent, just lack of funds to hang onto their talent. You may recognize names like Jason Kendall, Aramis Ramirez, Jason Bay, and Barry Bonds amongst others. All great young Pirates at one point. The problem is that once these players near the end of their contracts, Pittsburgh knows that they do not have the money to resign them, so they trade them for younger, cheaper, less talented players. It is a never-ending cycle. Without revenue sharing, the Pirates and other small market teams will never be competitive. Since the larger market teams have no incentive to agree to a revenue-sharing proposal, there will never be any progress made in that area.
So, an alternate solution. Take a cue from the european soccer leagues. These leagues have no salary cap, and have teams from both huge cities and small towns, just like MLB. Most of these leagues are structured not in equal but separate divisions, as American leagues are, but they are divided into tiers, based on the teams performance in the previous season. The top fifteen or so teams are in the first division, the next fifteen in the second division, and so on. Each team plays their regular season against teams in their division, and at the end of the year there is relegation and promotion. The bottom three teams from D1 go down to D2, and are replaced in D1 by the top three teams from D2, and on and on.
This system keeps the playing field level, and gives everyone something to cheer for. Pirates fans, for example, could cheer for a very reachable D2 championship. When they get promoted, they can cheer for avoiding relegation, rather than just sitting as bottom-dwellers with no real progress being made one way or another. Europe figured this system out about a hundred years ago, and baseball would do well to recognize one of its greatest faults before it is too late. Because like it or not, purists, soccer is coming. Not tomorrow. Not next year. But soon people will spend their summer dollars on soccer matches rather than baseball games, but by then the damage will have been done.
Baseball has stagnated. A couple of decades of poor decision-making by players, unions, and owners, combined with a few factors beyond its control, have turned the once proud ocean liner of Major League Baseball into a sinking ship.
This is not going to be a rant about the many players who have tainted the historic records of the game by using steroids, nor is it necessary to discuss how the advent of satellite television has made baseball a third-tier option to the much more visual sports of football and basketball. These are obvious problems, and have been discusssed at nauseum.
I want to talk about the problem of parity. The absence of a salary cap, and in effect the absence of a level playing field. While teams from the major markets like New York, Boston, LA, and Chicago freely spend every off-season to keep their teams consistently at the top of the stangdings, other teams that don't have the same revenue streams are forced to sell off all of their young talent in order to just stay afloat. The Pittsburgh Pirates, for example, have not had a winning season since the early nineties. Not for lack of talent, just lack of funds to hang onto their talent. You may recognize names like Jason Kendall, Aramis Ramirez, Jason Bay, and Barry Bonds amongst others. All great young Pirates at one point. The problem is that once these players near the end of their contracts, Pittsburgh knows that they do not have the money to resign them, so they trade them for younger, cheaper, less talented players. It is a never-ending cycle. Without revenue sharing, the Pirates and other small market teams will never be competitive. Since the larger market teams have no incentive to agree to a revenue-sharing proposal, there will never be any progress made in that area.
So, an alternate solution. Take a cue from the european soccer leagues. These leagues have no salary cap, and have teams from both huge cities and small towns, just like MLB. Most of these leagues are structured not in equal but separate divisions, as American leagues are, but they are divided into tiers, based on the teams performance in the previous season. The top fifteen or so teams are in the first division, the next fifteen in the second division, and so on. Each team plays their regular season against teams in their division, and at the end of the year there is relegation and promotion. The bottom three teams from D1 go down to D2, and are replaced in D1 by the top three teams from D2, and on and on.
This system keeps the playing field level, and gives everyone something to cheer for. Pirates fans, for example, could cheer for a very reachable D2 championship. When they get promoted, they can cheer for avoiding relegation, rather than just sitting as bottom-dwellers with no real progress being made one way or another. Europe figured this system out about a hundred years ago, and baseball would do well to recognize one of its greatest faults before it is too late. Because like it or not, purists, soccer is coming. Not tomorrow. Not next year. But soon people will spend their summer dollars on soccer matches rather than baseball games, but by then the damage will have been done.
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